In the Blink of an Eye

Death doesn’t play fair.  It never has and it never will.  It creeps up on us and only leaves pain, sorrow, and loss in its wake.

Yesterday, my sister lost a friend.  Our friends lost a son, a brother, and an uncle.  The grief they are feeling right now is beyond my comprehension.  My heart aches for them and tears rise up unbidden.  I know God is here, amidst all this pain, but it is so hard to trust his will when people I care about are overcome with such agonizing loss.

Questions can’t help but be asked.  Why did this happen? Weren’t we praying hard enough? How is it possible? How do we keep breathing when he no longer is, at least not here with us?  Will this pain ever go away?  How can one feel so much and so little at the same time?  How do I keep trusting in you Lord?  How??

He was too young. He had so much life left to live.  He was fighting so hard.  He has so many in his life who still need him.  How can his vibrancy and passion be gone from this world?  We weren’t ready, God.  It’s not fair.  It’s just not. 

I don’t understand why some people receive the miracle they are praying for and some don’t.   At least, not in the way they were hoping.  We were praying for his healing, but we wanted him to live so many more years here with us, on this earth.  God’s plans were different.  And I can’t begin to understand why.  I can only pray and continue to trust, even if it seems difficult right now.  And I know there is good that will come out of this.  That his life mattered and will continue to matter and touch the lives of those left behind.  He had such an amazing heart and cared deeply for all the people in his life.  Someone like that can’t help but touch the lives of his family and friends.

Jason, you will be greatly missed and always remembered.  I wish we could see you dancing in heaven right now, but the knowledge that you are there, that you are healed, that we will see you again, has to be enough. 

Lord, you say joy comes in the morning.  We must believe this.  In the meantime, as we wait for the sun to rise, we must keep breathing.