Some Days…

Some days I’m slow
Lost in the laziness of life

Contemplative, reflective, and introspective
Focused on everything and nothing
Letting my mind roam here and there
Conversing with God
Wrestling with myself

Some days I’m active
Filled to busting with the chaos of life

Exuberant, joyous, and smiley
Full of energy, full of love
Flitting from one thing to the next
Inhaling deeply and laughing loudly
Unable to slow down and rest

Some days I’m melancholy
Restless about my future and what to do next

Dejected, depressed, and lackluster
Weary from the daily struggles thrown in my face
Caught up in self pity, loneliness, or sorrow
Filled with pain
Lost in regret

Some days I’m happy
Loving others and loving life

Bouncy, bubbly, and free
Reveling in the beauty around me
Rejoicing in the company I keep
Thankful for the life I lead
Consumed with optimism

Today, I’m simply content.

Soaking & Chewing

My church is currently doing a 12 week study on Philippians where we are encouraged to “soak” in it. Meaning read it straight through 3-4 times a week throughout the 12 week period. This way you absorb the scripture more than you would if you simply read it once or twice a month or a scrap here and a verse there. Who knows, maybe I’ll come to memorize the entire book by the end of the series!

Anyway…here are several verses that were exceptionally thought provoking for me:

“I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” – Phil. 1:3-6

Praying with joy. What does that mean? What does it look like? How do I pray to God? Do I approach him humbly with joy in my heart despite my current circumstance? Sadly, most of the time I don’t. I often send out blanket prayers or talk to God before going to bed, when weariness and sleep are claiming my body. Or I’m multitasking…driving, cooking, running. Whatever I’m doing, the point is I’m normally distracted by doing something else other then simply focusing all my attention on Him and connecting emotionally at a deeper level then I do when I just send up a quick thank you or “please pray for….” request. By praying this way, I lose the ability to pray with joy. To approach God with a heart of gladness and thankfulness to Him for all the blessings in my life. Even if it’s been a bad day or I’m faced with adversity, I still need to take time out to joyfully fellowship with God. I yearn for it. And so does He. “

And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ—to the glory and praise of God.” – Phil. 1:9-11

I want this so desperately. To transform more and more each day into the person Christ designed me to be! To love without bounds, embrace each day with celebration, lean into my longing to know Christ, become vulnerable and broken, to glean more knowledge from His Word, to lose myself and find myself all at the same time. Being filled with righteousness…it’s almost something I can’t understand because I feel like it will never be fully accomplished.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:” – Phil 2:3-5

I do this. I mean, I think I do this. Okay, I do this most of the time. Alright…some of the time, but I still do it! I honestly wish I could say this is something I do consistently, but often my motives are not pure. They are spurred on by the ugly, by self recognition or vanity. I do things because it’s in my best interest, and sure it may be in the interests of others, but that isn’t always the driving force behind my actions. I’m not saying I don’t ever put other’s interests ahead of my own. Because I do. Just not all the time. And that last sentence, “your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.” It knocks the wind out of me because I know deep in my heart my attitude often doesn’t reflect His. Let’s just tack this on to my already expanding list of areas Christ is working at transforming in my life.

Creation at it’s Best

Here are some pictures Ryan & I took at Sunset Hill in Ballard.

If you don’t already know, sunsets are one of my favorite things. I just love reveling in God’s glory as the sun shines and fades behind the mountain peaks, glistening gently on the water in hues of orange, pink, red, blue, and purple. It’s moments like these when I am acutely aware of God’s presence and his incredible beauty.