Trust, Control, and the Future

I always thought that I had a clear path planned out for my life, but I am finding out just how wrong my thinking was.  I recently graduated college and am in the process of finding a job, but the career I always thought I would have holds no appeal for me now.  Maybe I have matured some, but I am at the point where I want to have a job that actually matters to myself, but more specifically to other people.  I am not saying that there is anything wrong with climbing the corporate ladder of success (unless money/power become your main focus), but I know that is not something  I want. for my life.  I want to find a job that pays me well enough to live comfortable (because let’s face it…we need some money to survive in the world), but that allows me to make a difference in the lives of other people…either through mission work, teaching, non-profit, or social work.  These are the types of careers that have been prominent in my mind lately and I feel strongly that this is the direction God wants me to go in.  I guess the hard part for me is trusting God (His judgement is definitley better than my own), stepping outside of the comfort zone I have created for myself, and (borrowing from Casting Crowns here) ”stepping into the realm of the unknown, where Jesus reigns.” I think this is one of the hardest things to do, but at the same time can be the most rewarding.  I have been praying a lot about my future, which, to be honest, I have not been too enthusiastic about lately (maybe because I have been denying the reality of being an adult), but I am confident that things will work out according to God’s will or plan for me….it is just a matter of me listening to Him and acting on it.  I tend to worry too much about things, when  I should just be trusting God with my fears instead.  So what if the future seems uncertain.  That’s something that is never going to change…I will never know what is going to happen day to day or even minute to minute.  I know that, yet the problem is giving up the control I think I have and trusting God, because He is really the one who is in control.   

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”  -Philippians 4:6

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself.  Each day has enough trouble of its own.”  -Matthew 6:34

Trust God in everything,

Dani

COMMENTS

Scott: Nice journal Dani.  I too go through those uncertainties often.  It is trusting in God that seems the hardest.  But at the same time asking the questions “what does trusting God,” or “how do you listen to God when He is saying something, or might not be saying anything” isn’t inappropriate either.  I’m reminded of a story of a guy who waited on Jesus to come but totally missed Him.  He was looking for wrong things.  At this time, God may be blessing you with a good job you’re not aware of.  I cant imagine you sitting around and just waiting, but if so you know you can’t jut wait until some amazing oppurtunity comes your way (even so it could be from God, or it might not be).  Point being, whatever you do, charity work, corporate ladder, mission, social work, whatever you end up doing make sure you do your best.  What you do at work says alot about who Jesus is how much He means to you.  On the other hand, if you go proclaiming God’s name but is a horrible employee, what does that say about Jesus?  I think God will bless you with whatever you do.  Find a job, and do your best.  He will bless your situation. 

or…you can just marry a filthy rich guy.

Thoughts About Life

So this is my disclaimer…I am writing about some things that are very personal to me and it might not always make sense.  I might have graduated with a degree in literature/writing, but I still have a hard time expressing my thoughts/emotions in writing…especially when it is about something that has had a major impact on me.  I hope that I will be able to clearly communicate my thoughts and feelings in this blog, but bear with me if it gets a little disjointed or muddled.

Last week a member of my church’s congregation died in a head on collision on Highway 2.  The man who died, Dick Montgomery, was a prominent figure at my church and lived his life for Jesus every day.  I loved to watch him worship in church because he always had his hands raised high, eyes closed, and a huge smile on his face.  The love he had for his Savior radiated from him and it was so amazing to watch someone that was so devoted to living his life for Christ.  He lived with no regrets and I am convinced he is praising God in heaven right now.  His life (not his death) has been on my mind a lot this week and has caused me to think about whether or not I am ready to meet my Maker.  I am often timid when it comes to sharing my faith with others and I often wonder whether those around me even know that I am a Christian.  It was obvious to anyone who met Dick that he was a believer in Christ and that is how he will be remembered.  I feel that God is prodding me to be bolder and live for Him with all that I am.  This isn’t something that has just happened in the last week, but it is becoming more evident to me that I need to die to my own selfishness and live for Christ above anything else.

Here are just a few verses that I have read recently and find encouraging and relevant to where I am at in my life…

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”   – Psalm 34:18

There is so much suffering in the world, and though it may often seem distant to us, like it only can happen to others, suffering touches all of our lives.  This verse is so reassuring to me.  I just love the fact that God is always there to comfort and lift us up out of the darkness.

“Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.” -1 Timothy 6:18

I read this verse yesterday and it just really hit me how often I let myself get caught up in desiring worldly riches.  More and more, especially lately, I have been realizing just how tenuous our lives here on earth are.  Thesong “Who Am I” by Casting Crowns says, “I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow, a wave tossed in the ocean, vapor in the wind” and I am discovering just how true this is.  It is so important to put Christ first in our lives and to rely on Him to provide for us. Only by doing this will we be truly rich.  I would rather be remembered as someone who was loving, generous, caring, rich in relationships and devoted to serving Christ and others over someone who had a great amount of monetary wealth and a successful career…not that there is anything wrong with that as long as your heart is in the right place and you don’t hoard it all to yourself.

Well…that’s about all I really have to say right now, but I know I will be thinking on these things a lot in the days, weeks, and even months to follow. 

Dani

COMMENTS

Scott:  Dani, Let’s do coffee.  I’m serious, I love what you’re saying here and in the other blogs.  Thanks for sharing.  Let me know when and where.