Thoughts on 2 Peter 1

“…make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love.  For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.”  – 2 Peter 1:5-8

I was reading in 2 Peter the other day and these verses really stuck out to me.  I know that, as Christians, we should always be striving to grow closer to God and deepen our relationship with Him.  But I guess I hadn’t really given much thought as  to how that growth presents itself beyond simply having faith.  I mean, I know that the closer I am to God, the easier it is to act as he would want me to act.   To respond with love instead of fear, anger, or skepticism.  To forgive instead of hold a grudge.  To share instead of hoard.  To confront adversity head on instead of cowering in fear.  Faith is what saves us, but having faith should also result in actions that honor Christ.

“…make every effort…”  Wow.  Am I making EVERY effort to add these qualities to my faith? I think the answer is obvious.  That would be a big fat N-O.  In fact, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to answer that with a yes.  I’d like to think so, but there is always more I can be doing.  Self-control, huh?  That’s huge for me.  I’m so easily ruled by emotions that keeping them in check and reacting positively in situations isn’t always easy for me.   I may eventually come around, but it definitely doesn’t always happen right off.  I don’t want to become ineffective or unproductive, but if I’m not actively pursuing Christ, then that’s the direction I’m heading.   And lately, I’ve been slipping.  I’ve been selfish with my time and energy and that needs to change.

This is just such a good reminder to me to daily surrender my will for Christ’s will.  To turn to him constantly throughout the day to deal with stressful or overwhelming situations.  To thank him.  Praise him.  Talk to him. Enjoy him.

Courage Under Spider

Yesterday, I did the unthinkable.  ­ At least, it was the unthinkable for me. 

I actually killed a spider.  My arms may have quivered like Jell-O in the middle of an earthquake, but I did it!  If you know me at all, you know I have an irrational fear of spiders, which basically involves screaming and running or just lots of hyperventilating and unintelligible sounds sputtering from my mouth.

However, for once I actually stepped up and took care of business.  Obviously the above actions also occurred, but I can’t be cured of it overnight, right?

Anyway, I was simply minding my own business, cleaning the condo, when I glanced up and saw a black blob about the size of a silver dollar resting on the front door.  Immediately my limbs seized up, my heart started racing, and goosebumps sprouted on my arms and legs.  I furtively glanced around, looking for someone else (Ryan) to deal with the situation.  Unfortunately, I was the only one home.  I knew I only had two options: kill it or leave it there, waiting for Ryan to arrive.  And if I left it there, it would probably crawl somewhere else in the house, never to be found again.  Which I knew would only leave me living in constant fear that it would make an appearance later – perhaps when I was cuddled in bed or taking a shower.   I knew I couldn’t let that happen.  And I’m not the catch and release type, so saving it to live its life in the outdoors was simply out of the question.   I mustered up every ounce of bravery I had within my trembling body, slowly picked up Ryan’s shoe (because I wouldn’t possibly use mine!), crept slowly towards the beast, raised the shoe high into the air, and smashed the life out of the giant spider camped out on my front door.  He picked the wrong home to invade!

Looking at him lying on the floor in a crumpled heap, I couldn’t help but feel a teensy-bit sad.  But only like .05% bad.  I mean, I did just steal his life away and I’m not completely cold-hearted.  But I knew I couldn’t let him extend his stay on my door.  No way!

In the Blink of an Eye

Death doesn’t play fair.  It never has and it never will.  It creeps up on us and only leaves pain, sorrow, and loss in its wake.

Yesterday, my sister lost a friend.  Our friends lost a son, a brother, and an uncle.  The grief they are feeling right now is beyond my comprehension.  My heart aches for them and tears rise up unbidden.  I know God is here, amidst all this pain, but it is so hard to trust his will when people I care about are overcome with such agonizing loss.

Questions can’t help but be asked.  Why did this happen? Weren’t we praying hard enough? How is it possible? How do we keep breathing when he no longer is, at least not here with us?  Will this pain ever go away?  How can one feel so much and so little at the same time?  How do I keep trusting in you Lord?  How??

He was too young. He had so much life left to live.  He was fighting so hard.  He has so many in his life who still need him.  How can his vibrancy and passion be gone from this world?  We weren’t ready, God.  It’s not fair.  It’s just not. 

I don’t understand why some people receive the miracle they are praying for and some don’t.   At least, not in the way they were hoping.  We were praying for his healing, but we wanted him to live so many more years here with us, on this earth.  God’s plans were different.  And I can’t begin to understand why.  I can only pray and continue to trust, even if it seems difficult right now.  And I know there is good that will come out of this.  That his life mattered and will continue to matter and touch the lives of those left behind.  He had such an amazing heart and cared deeply for all the people in his life.  Someone like that can’t help but touch the lives of his family and friends.

Jason, you will be greatly missed and always remembered.  I wish we could see you dancing in heaven right now, but the knowledge that you are there, that you are healed, that we will see you again, has to be enough. 

Lord, you say joy comes in the morning.  We must believe this.  In the meantime, as we wait for the sun to rise, we must keep breathing.

Glimpses of Spring

Lately, we’ve been blessed with some warm weather and sunshine.  A rare occurrence, but embraced with arms wide open. 

With the bright glow of the sun, several things happen in our city.  First, even though the temperture may still read 50 degrees, you can’t help but see teenage and college girls alike strolling around in shorts and tank tops, with not a jacket in site.  Flip flops, sun dresses, barefeet, and short sleeves abound.  It’s wonderful to get outside and soak up the much needed vitamin D, but really? It’s not summer yet! If it’s still below freezing when you wake up, I just don’t think it’s time for summer clothes to break out.  Unless paired with lots and lots of layers to combat the frigid air.

Anyway…

Another thing that happens is Seattle driving drastically decreases.  Not that Seattlelites ever claim to be good drivers.  In fact, we only really like driving when it’s partially cloudy out, with maybe a very light, almost unnoticeable drizzle dusting our windshields  just enough that our wipers need to be set on the lowest level.  However, when the sun comes out we are so shocked it sends many drivers crashing into either eachother, guardrails, ditches, or various other obstacles.   This makes for a messy commute.  If we aren’t getting in accidents, then we are most likely being blinded by the bright orb beaming into our eyes, making driving secondary and the survival of our eyesight our main concern.  Visors are quickly folded down and sunglasses are thrust haphazardly on our faces to cover up the gleaming sun.  We hunch down in our seats or stretch as high as possible to avoid the suns rays as we cruise down the highway directly towards it’s bright light.  Anything that helps us survive to our next exit or turn is welcome.  Obviously, this causes accidents too because it’s impossible to be fully aware of the road when we are so concious on avoiding the light, consequently shrinking our windsheild’s size down to a 2-inch by (insert width of car here) area. 

However, despite our inability to drive and our unreasonable attire, we love glimpses of spring.  It lets us know that winter doesn’t last forever.  That the darkness that has engulfed us for months will soon be shattered by sunbreaks and partially cloudy days.  That our mountain will come out of hiding and show off his dominant glory once again.  Light replaces dark…so fitting of our spiritual lives as well.  

Of course, Ryan and I had to seize the sunny days too. :) 

Note: These pictures make it look like it’s still gray here, but our excuse is that it’s a new camera…and we’re still figuring things out!

Honeymoon in Kauai

A few photos from our honeymoon…

We took a kayak ride up the Wailua River, hiked a mile or so through the jungle to this waterfall.  And when I say hike, I really mean we slid there. The trail was just one big, seemingly never ending mudhole.  Fortunately a swim cleaned us up for the return trip.

Our gorgeous beach – Kiahuna, right next door to Poipu.  Just a little piece of paradise.

Hula Pie, my favorite!

Looking towards Poipu beach from our resort.

So that’s it for now – all the good sunset and Waimea Canyon photos are still to come!

After the Storm

I’m back and I will try to be more reliable in the future, especially now that life has calmed down a bit – I mean what was I thinking?? Buying a condo and planning a wedding all within 5 months?  Crazy!!! But it’s done and everything went off better than I could have possibly imagined!  So…that means I’m going to try and post more regularly.  At least a little more often than I have in the past, which is like months apart, so it shouldn’t be hard, right? Right…

I’ve decided since it’s been ages since my last post, I should give a brief recap of the last few months. 

November
The wedding planning process stalled out – I had the venue, caterer, florist, photographer, and pretty much all the other big details handled, so it was nice to take a break and enjoy the holidays with my family.  Thanksgiving was really mellow, with Ryan and I spending the day separately, each with our own family.  My Thanksgiving traditionally starts off with Laura and I frantically racing each other to tear bread for the stuffing – we never actually know who wins, its more about who can beat the other in tearing the final piece of dried bread.  That makes up my stint in the kitchen – then it’s off to the basement to play pool or foosball and watch some football with my dad.  The football watching doesn’t last too long, as I tend to get bored (I prefer the real game of football, you know…soccer). 

December
One word: SNOW! Lots and lots of snow.  Felt like I was confined to the house for months!

Okay, technically December started with tree hunting – our family tradition.  It was freezing and pouring.  Sadly, Laura & I didn’t find our tree as fast as we have in the past, but we finally settled on this beauty:

Laura wanted this tree with the top that resembles Carrot Top’s hair, but we chose a much smaller, less invasive tree isntead.

 Next came decorating…both at home and our parents:

Then I had my first wedding shower, hosted by Ruth and Debi – they did an amazing job!

And then…came the snow.  It started off being exciting, but quickly became old to us Seattlelites.  The snow actually began the day of my shower.  Fortunately it held off untit everyone was making their way home for the night.  I was stranded at my parents, so I made good use of my camera: 

Then came Christmas to finish December off!

By this point, our cars were buried by the snow and we had to dig them out:

I was able to move my car (blue honda civic) just seconds before the snow on the roof (pictured above) came crashing down on it.  I literally backed it up just enough to be missed and as I put my car in park and opened the driver’s door, that snow slipped violently to the ground.  It was like something straight out of a movie – but without the car actually getting crushed.  And so ended December.

January
We were getting nearer and nearer to “D-day”, so this month was filled with dress fittings, final plannings/meetings, filling of candy jars, printing of programs, and any other various wedding tasks that arose.  Oh, did I mention there was massive flooding going on in Snohomish and surrounding cities?  Yeah, turns out all the snowfall decided it would melt and turn our valleys into lakes.  And did I mention that my wedding venue was in Snohomish? Yeah, this was a definite concern!!

February
Five months of peparations came down to this:

  It was an amazing night that went way too fast; filled with family, friends, good food, delicious cake, and lots of dancing.  Does it get better than that?? 

October Highlights

Family/Neighborhood Apple Press.  Also, my flower girl – isn’t she cute!?

Beehive on my parent’s property

Engagement Photos

Enjoy! Courtesy of my cousin Max – he did an amazing job! He’s also taking the wedding photos.

The “Night of” Photos

Sorry for the long delay, but I was waiting on others and you know how that can be!

But I finally have a few of the pictures, although Ryan’s sister does have the collection of better night shots. 

Hopefully this will do until I get those from her – she’s currently away at school, so it’s a little difficult!

She also has an upclose shot of the ring – but I can take one & put it on too.

And She Said Yes!!

I don’t really know how to start this off…so I guess I’ll just throw it out there.

I got engaged!!!

Pretty crazy, exciting, and surreal.  I’ve been hoping for this day for awhile now, but always thought his time line was a little different then mine.  Turns out he’d been planning this since last Christmas – got the ring in April.   But he was waiting for our 2 year anniversary from our first date (August 25), so he held off.

But, August 25 came and went very uneventfully.  Typical of Seattle, the weather was not in agreement with his plans.  So Ry waited.  He had no intention of changing his proposal, so it took another 2 weeks before it happened. 

On September 5th, he had me meet him at Madrona Park on Lake Washington – where we had our first date.  The first date was pretty incredible – 3 hours of just hanging out, talking, laughing, and eating Ben & Jerry’s.  So he had Ben & Jerry’s with him on this night and we sat on the same bulkhead that we visited 2 years before.  Ryan also had with him a stack of papers and a box – the size of a pencil box – wrapped in newspaper for me to open later.  After about 15 minutes of awkward chatter, he allowed me to look at the first page of paper.  It was a comic book he had made – drawn in stick figures (my friend in high school and I drew a ton of stick figure comics sophomore year).  The first comic depicted our first date and was so sweet and thoughtful and hilarious.  After that, I was allowed to read one comic every 15 minutes.  Eventually, Ryan got impatient and just let me finish them all of at once.

The final comic depicted Stick Ryan with his arm behind his back holding a question mark.  Stick Me is standing next to him thinking “presents? I love presents!”  This was the part where I was allowed to open my gift.  I unwrapped it, curious as to what was inside…

And it was…

Drum-roll please!

 

 

 

 

 

A LAMP!

Yeah, I know what you’re thinking.  What girl doesn’t want a clip-on bedside lamp for her anniversary, right?
Not this girl.  I looked at the box.  Then at Ryan.  Then back at the box.  A look of utter disbelief on my face. 

Me: “Seriously? You got me a lamp?”
Ry: “You don’t like it?”
Me: “Umm…no.  It’s a lamp.”
Ry: “But it clips on and everything!”
Me: “…<mutters>…you’re just like my dad…”
***note*** my dad has given my mom a traffic cone, steering wheel, and 3 hubcaps in the past.
Ry: “It’s a lamp because you light up my life!”

Okay, but still…a lamp???  Then Ryan shines his cellphone light onto the corner of his comic page depicting the lamp and in very fine print I see the words “but wait, there’s more”.  And then I get it.  I need to pull the lamp out of the box!  Inside the lamp, where the light bulb typically resides, is a ring box.  Ryan takes the box, drops to one knee, opens it and asks me the question I’ve been waiting months for.

Of course I said yes!

There was lots of smiling, hugging, and yes, even some kissing.

Then Ryan tells me that his sister and friend have been hiding out in one of the shelters taking our photos all night, so we walk over to them and get congratulated, etc.

About 10 minutes pass and out of the shadows come running 4 high school boys (Ryan has been mentoring them for about 3 years now).  With a bucket of water.  Aimed straight at Ryan.  I sidestep just in time, but receive a few drops on my arm and pant leg while Ryan gets doused.  On our first date, we were sitting on the bulkhead with our legs dangling over the side, when a giant wake from one of the passing boats washed over the ledge, soaking Ryan and sprinkling a few drops on me. So Ryan made sure this night ended the same way it did then.

I couldn’t be happier with the results.

***when I get photos from the night, I’ll post them***